Christmas feels different this year. Maybe it's because of missing all my real friends. Not that any of my newer friends are fakes because I don't think they are, but knowing someone for six years has a different kind of impact. It's like that person has been seared to your bone or branded into your brain. It's that different. Or maybe it's because the season's been completely sensationalized as being a gift-giving season. I mean, sure it's nice to give gifts but the pressure of giving something extravagant? Come on. The simplest things can give a lot of happiness. Really.
Or maybe, it's that situation where you're constantly being pestered to plan out the rest of your life. (Oh yes, here I go again). Well, maybe I'd like to live in the moment right now. Maybe I'd rather appreciate the nuances of my life than calculate mortgages or pension. I mean jeez, when did your 20s become the new 50s? Let me live my life. Trust me, I have a plan going. It's just not as concrete and written in permanent marker as some people would like it to be. I've been living my life according to how other people would want me to live it and I really think it's time for me to live it like how I would like to live it.
And on that note, now that I've vented quite poorly, maybe my grumpiness about everything is just about that and nothing more. I've got nothing against Christmas or the festivities that go along with it. It's just probably the exam blues and quite possibly the spirit-crushing, brain-melting pressure of growing up.
